So I finished everything on Sunday.
Life since then has been a concerted effort to find busy work to do, so that I don’t go crazy. The walls are painted, the cabinets are cleaned, and the boxes are almost all packed — If I pack anything else, I won’t have anywhere to sleep at night!
I have 3 boxes still open, for the last minute dishes, and I’m living out of suitcases. But the TV and the XBox are still out, so I’m holding on to my sanity. There’s still some paper work to do, and the ongoing difficulty of jumping through the hoops required by my employer to make this happen, but I’m basically ready to go.
Right. Now.
Yesterday Nicole camped out at our temporary apartment in Ontario, and waited for the Internet people to come and say that “yes, our line will work.” The modem and our VoIP kit were mailed to us there, so we’ve got the basics covered. Monday the moving truck comes, Tuesday I clean the floors and then start the 8-hour trek back to Ontario. Wednesday, I hope to be back at work from a mostly empty apartment in the morning.
This has been a pretty gray month, with a few occasional glimpses of sunshine that have made it survivable. On Tuesday, Nic stayed with our friend’s Mark and Elisabeth, who watched Ben on Wednesday while Nic was at the apartment. Here’s Ben hanging out with their little guy, Nathan.

Only 6 more days until I can be with my wife and kids…

When my siblings and I were little, my dad read us the Hobbit, then the Lord of the Rings series. I remember being captivated by the story of the little fuzzy-footed people who fought dragon’s and orcs, and by the spiritual under-tones of the prose. It was an adventure we shared with our dad, and it would be years before another story captured my imagination like Tolkein’s masterpieces.
Some years later, I discovered that someone had put out an animated movie of The Lord of the Rings, and I excitedly asked my dad if we could rent it… and was surprised and dismayed when he not only refused, but forbid me to ever watch it. I couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t be allowed to watch the movie of the book he’d read us years ago. Did he not like it any more?
Fast forward about 20 years. I’m in the movie store, pawning through the Sci-Fi flicks when I spot the animated Lord of the Rings movie. I flipped it over and took a look at the screen shots on the back of the box, and suddenly I understood.

It wasn’t that my dad had developed a dislike for the Hobbit, or the Lord of the Rings. Rather, he loved it so much that he couldn’t allow it to be disrespected in such a way.
He knew that the pictures painted by Tolkein’s wonderful words in the imagination of a little boy were thousands of times more vibrant and alive then the shoddy work done on the movie. The animation was horrifically crude, the story line was hacked and slashed to fit in just over an hour… In short, having seen this movie as a child would have destroyed the gift he’d given us in reading the story to us at bed time.
It wasn’t until recently that the technology existed for a movie to do justice to the original book. And when Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings came out, we all went and watched it together… and saw reflected in it, what our young imaginations had pictured all those years ago when, cuddled up in our beds, our dad first read us the story.
And if that makes sense to you, maybe you’ll understand the tragedy of what I saw this past weekend.
On Friday, I took myself out to see Speed Racer. Being a temporary bachelor drives you to such desperation, you see. I needed something to do on a Friday night, so I decided I’d give the makers of the Matrix another try. The movie wasn’t awful, but if I hadn’t had a free movie ticket, I still would have felt robbed by the experience.
But what was really and truly awful, was the trailer that played just before the movie started. It seems George Lucas is not content with the betrayal of my childhood that was the new trilogy (Episodes 1-3) of Star Wars, and is determined to further milk his original work of art, for every treacherously wrought cent he can ring from it.
He’s become a corrupt, evil, fat little man, capitalizing on the imagination and awe of a generation of little boys who once day-dreamed about being one of the rag tag team of rebels that over-threw an evil empire and saved the galaxy. And instead of honouring the fans of the original series, he thinks its his right to butcher the story he once shared with us. And in that vein, he vomits up this regurgitated mess:

As if episodes 1-3 weren’t bad enough, he wants to beleaguer that poorly crafted story-line with even more poorly thought-out stories, animated horrifically in some momentarily trendy style that, unlike the original trilogy which even 30 years later still looks impressive, will look like a trashy Saturday-morning cartoon in just a couple short years.
The premise of this travesty is that Jabba the Hutt’s son has been kidnapped and the Jedi Knights have to rescue him…
Excuse me?! Why would the Jedi Knights bother with the son of a small time crime lord who lives in the armpit end of the galaxy? Is Lucas even familiar with his own characters any more?
He’s gone from telling an epic story of good vs. evil, to telling the story of how the defender’s of the galaxy run errands for the local drug dealer!
One day I will sit down with my kids, and I will show them the original Star Wars trilogy. Not the special edition. Not the “director’s cut.” The original movies, the way they were originally made.
And when we’re done, they’ll run around the house, swinging imaginary light sabers, and dodging imaginary blaster bolts as they save us all from evil… And then they’ll want more. I know, because I did when I was a kid.
So I will grudgingly allow them to watch the newer trilogy — but only after an explanation of how the later movies are a blight on the Star Wars universe. But I’m sure the holes in the plot, acting and character development will by filled in by their young imaginations, and they will forgive Mr. Lucas for his folly (and for Jar Jar Binks.) And they’ll still want more.
But there will be no more, because I will absolutely forbid them to ever watch the Clone Wars Animated Movie.
Why? Because no one should be allowed to devastate the imagination of a child. Not even the lazy, fat man who once, 3 decades ago, worked long and lovingly to create the original story that irrevocably captured the imagination of every little boy who watched those movies…
I’d boycott anything George Lucas does from now on, except I’m dying to see the new Indiana Jones movie. Here’s hoping he doesn’t crap all over that franchise too.

It’s Mother’s Day today, so I wanted to take a few minutes to honour (<- Canadian spelling) two of my favourite mom’s in the whole world.
The short, white lady in this picture is my mom (I’m not sure who that baboon-looking dude is next to her, but its not my dad.) She just got back from Malaysia a couple weeks ago. I’m real proud of both my parents. They’re what’s called “tent maker” missionaries, meaning they support their own ministry through their professional career.
In Ontario my mom was in nursing management, where she worked her way up, working nights while we were little kids so she could be there for us during the day, and putting aside a giant chunk of her salary to help pay for two missions trips while we were growing up.
Despite being raised a small-town gal, she’s organized and pulled off 4 trips around the world: Bangladesh when I was 5, Germany when I was 13, her own trip to Africa while my parents were still working to put their kids through college, and my parents’ move to Asia — which they went after just as soon as the last of us kids was done school.
Someone at church once said about my mom “she’s a little lady, but don’t let that fool you; she’s a force to be reckoned with!” While they’re in Asia, my mom’s working with TransWorld Radio helping them develop a strategy for delivering medical and spiritual resources to the people of Cambodia.
There’s no church that’s sent them out, and no missions agency that helps them figure out how to work with the governments of the different countries they’re dealing with. Just my dad’s employer, their network of like-minded friends and missionaries that they’ve cultivated over the past 3 decades, their sheer determination to show God’s love to the people of Asia… and a God who is with them that can move mountains!
When my mom got back from Asia for the summer, she flew out to visit my brother and sister, then drove with me down to New York to help me pack up our apartment. While I went to work this week, she was packing boxes and cleaning out cupboards!
Its funny how you don’t really understand how much your parents do for you until you become parents yourself. My wife, best friend and partner-in-adventure recently became a mom for the second time. And, as with the first, has handled the change with more grace and flexibility than I could ever muster. Nicole just never loses her cool.
Benjamin had a horrific bout of colic, and Abigail, sweet though she may be, has the most annoying cry you can imagine. Her nickname of “piglet” is well earned, because she still snorts loudly when she gets good and upset, and I usually have to leave the room before it drives me insane! Nicole, on the other hand, regardless of the time of night, manages to not only be calm, but to inspire calm. Her kids know love when they feel her touch, and its her confidence and peace that allows them to grow. Benjamin is a fearless little explorer, convinced he can be friends with everyone he meets — he’s never once seen his mom be anything less than completely loving and accepting, and his wonderfully innocent awe of the world around him is a testament to her ability to help him learn and discover new things.
And she’s no slouch herself when it comes to organizing and managing the family. She’s single-handedly responsible for working toward (and sometimes enforcing) our financial goals. She’s pulled together two international moves, always bearing the larger portion of the work so that I can stay focused on my day job. And, despite being raised a small-town gal, she’s traveled to the other side of the planet and back, not hesitating for a minute to stand next to me on our crazy adventures.
Yup, I’m a lucky guy. God’s blessed me with two wonderful mom’s in my immediate family, and some pretty great ones in my extended family too (I’ll let Nicole honor her mom in her own way, but suffice it to say, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree.) I know I wouldn’t be here today without women like these. So thank you, gals. Have a great Mother’s Day — you’ve earned it!

So since I’m working off site, I need to take a little piece of the office with me. Rather than load up 4 physical server machines, my boss decided it was best to buy me one big one, which will run 4 virtual servers on it.
So we got me one of these. A PowerEdge 1900.
The picture doesn’t give you a good idea of the size — the depth of the machine is the length of my leg. Its huge, and it sounds like a jet engine taking off when you first start it up. Its got a Quad Core Xeon, with room for another Quad Core if I need one later, a 500GB 10,000 RPM Hard Drive, and a whopping 16GB of RAM.
Six-teen.
It weighs 100 pounds, and can run 8 computers inside it, via Microsoft’s HyperV technology, without breaking a sweat.
Paired with my workstation (which is small by comparison: only a dual core CPU with 4GB of RAM) which will be running 2 virtual workstations inside of it, I’ll have enough horsepower to do… whatever I want. At any given time in my home office, I’ll have the resources of 8 computers at my finger tips.
If only just one of them was a Mac…

Here’s something else we’re going to miss about the States: Christian radio.
We just don’t have it in Canada. There’s a few stations with like a 10-15 mile broadcast range, but nothing like what we’ve got here. I was listening to Air 1 this morning, singing along on my way to work, and I realised how great it is to have encouraging music on.
But I have to stop ribbing my home land long enough to be proud of this story. Apparently a high school student from Ottawa (that’s in Canada, btw) may have found the cure for the Flu. A high school student.
Yes, we have many backward ways — especially when it comes to technology and commerce. But we have a generally intelligent and industrious population, and a stable economy.
Also our banks are open later.
And we don’t have Hillary Clinton to worry about.
We’ll miss lots of things about the States, but Canada’s a pretty good place to call home these days. 12 more days until I get to live there…

The only thing more annoying than dealing with Ontario Health Care is dealing with Ontario Internet Providers. It is unfathomably difficult to get uncapped, un-shaped Internet in Ontario. You cannot imagine.
In short, there are only two services (lower than T1) that offer it. Rogers Business High Speed, and Bell Business Ultra High Speed. No independent DSL ISPs are able to offer un-shaped Internet, even on a dry-loop — Bell only wholesales their Residential network (yes, that includes TekSavvy.)
Rogers offers un-crippled business-class Internet, but not if the location you’re installing it at is zoned as residential. Have a home office, or a small business run from your home? Sorry, you’re screwed.
Bell will sell you business-class, uncrippled Internet for your home office/small office, but they charge 1.5 times what Rogers charges, and 3 times their residential (shaped and capped) Internet.
And what they don’t tell you, in their righteous indignation about “protecting the world from file sharing pirates,” is that their shaping technology throttles any encrypted traffic. That includes online banking, and VPN access to a remote office. Your 6MBPS DSL becomes 30KBPS DSL as soon as you encrypt the traffic!
And what’s worse? No one at Bell even knows what “traffic shaping” is. Trying to get information from them on who you can pay and how much, to get real Internet, is like trying to get a newborn to stop pooping her pants. They just don’t know how.
Don’t even get me started on the cell phone companies — and don’t get Nicole started on OHIP. You may have heard me bash certain American policies and bureaucracies, but I’ll tell you what, moving to Canada is like moving backward in time 15 years.
It’s like we’ve spent 2.5 years living as the Jetsons, and now we have to figure out how to live as the Flintstones…

I got home to Canada this weekend, for all of about 36 hours. Got to see my kids, spend some time with my wife, and change a few diapers. While I was there, Benjamin got his first hair cut. He was a very good boy through the whole thing, and of course, he looks adorable now — and frighteningly grown-up. There’s plenty of pictures in Flickr, but here’s a couple low-quality videos of the event too…
http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=8321796511073595271&hl=en
http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=7540624491007587180&hl=en
At Nic’s parent’s place Ben has a toy tractor that he loves to ride around on. Here’s a quick clip of his new favourite mode of transportation. (Note the Canadian spelling. We’ll be going back to the Queen’s English here on jonandnic.com now that we’re moving back!)
http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=1743580444779608627&hl=en
And for our final video of the day, here’s a real treat. One of the best things about having multiple babies is the way they set each other off. If you think one crying baby is hard to handle, you’ll love it when the other baby joins in. This clip is from one of our road trips home — they were sleeping peacefully until we were almost there, then this happened…
http://video.google.com/googleplayer.swf?docid=-530668465803939222&hl=en
In other news, Ben has a new trick — he says words!! His favourite word is “HI!” which he says excitedly when you get him up in the morning. He also says “juice” but just the word by itself isn’t interesting enough for him, so he likes to work up to it: “JU-JU-JU-JOOOOOSH!!!”
He also huffs when he’s ticked off at you. A trick he learned from his babysitter… who huffs when she’s ticked off at you :-p
The family is doing great, Abi’s almost sleeping through the night, and my mom’s here in NY to help me pack. Two weeks left before we’re all home together in Canada. I can’t wait!