jonandnic dot com

Viva Las Vegas

I’m a little bit excited to be staying here…

That’s the Mandalay Bay Resort. It has an artificial beach. Next door is a giant pyramid. My room has a view of the strip. All expenses paid, tons of cool stuff to learn… pretty much the best business trip ever.

Wish Nicole could come…

Dealers of Lightning

It was the late 70s, and this concept of a personal computer was approaching a difficult coming-of-age. Everyone knew that the computer would change everything, but the race was on to define how that would look.

In the labs and offices of Xerox PARC (Palo Alto Research Center) a group of engineers and scientists pulled together ideas and concepts into a computer called the Alto. The main unit was about the size of a filing cabinet, while a landscape monitor, keyboard and mouse would sit on the desk. The computing environment consisted of windows, menus and icons on a bitmapped screen capable of rendering detailed graphics. No one had ever seen such a thing before, and although the Alto never made it out of the scientific world, it was shown to a team from Apple – including a young Steve Jobs.

The rest, of course, is history – legend even. It’s said that Bill Atkinson (the author of the QuickDraw ROM and MacPaint) excitedly pressed his face against the Alto’s screen, trying to count the pixels. The group from Apple returned to their headquarters in Cupertino, and so impressed was Jobs at what he’d seen, that he immediately spun off this rogue team first to the Apple LISA, and soon after to work on the Macintosh – computers with a bitmapped screen, mouse, windows, menus and icons. Others followed suit.

Of course the Macintosh wasn’t Apple’s only invention – nor was the Alto Xerox’ only invention. PARC is responsible for scripting languages, the laser printer, Ethernet and even the concept behind Tablet PCs/iPads – a theoretical device called the DynaBook. Virtually everything we know about modern computers was defined in one of these two campuses, or another in Redmond, Washington that I get to visit more frequently.

These are all things that I’ve known about for over a decade: fables, folklore, legend. The places where these things happened were no less fantastic to me, and therefore no more real, than planets in the Star Wars galaxy…

Until last week.

As I finished up a couple nice days working with some partners, I pulled up Bing Maps to look for a place for dinner… and realised I was only 36 minutes away from Cupertino, and another 10 from Palo Alto. I practically ran to my car – locking myself out of my hotel room, and forgetting that the battery in my GPS was nearly dead and I didn’t have a car charger – and started driving. I nursed the GPS along, turning it on for brief moments to orient myself, and drove through some beautiful California country-side to the places where dreams came to life…

That I have walked the sidewalks where giants of this industry tread – where perhaps they paced as they wrestled through ideas so big that they would change the world – is such an incredible honor. But to make this story even more incredible, I realised recently that I’ve met, and chatted with one of those giants! At a conference last November in Los Angeles, I attended a talk by a Butler Lampson – a researcher at my company – on artificial intelligence. Later, I came across him reading on the show floor and stopped to have a chat with him.

It wasn’t until much later that I discovered that this Butler Lampson was the same one who, almost 40 years ago, penned a memo detailing the design of a revolutionary computer. At the time, he was a researcher at Xerox PARC, and the computer he dreamt up… it was called the Alto.

I am literally working in the shadow of giants, in the cradle of some of the most remarkable inventions ever, surrounded by some of the most amazing minds of our time… and I could not be more grateful and blessed to have this incredible job.

Et Ducit Mundum Per Luce

I sat through a sermon a couple weekends ago. The preacher was not our usual pastor, but someone who spoke at a retreat we were at. His talks had some ups and downs — he certainly shed a lot of light on the Hebrew context that Jesus lived in. Toward the end of the weekend he espoused what I’ve come to call the “yard theory” of life. This is the idea that the world is a big playground that God has placed us in: that there is a whole array of options in front of us, many equally good, a few bad, and that He provides boundaries that He wants us to play within, and correction or repercussions if we push at those boundaries too hard, then sets us free to do whatever we want with our life.

While I like that this theory positions God as Father, watching His kids play, I don’t personally buy into it. I think our fallen world, and the forces at work within it, dictate that God has more in mind for His kids than random play. I think that there’s an over-arching plot-line, with Jesus as the main protagonist, and with each of us asked to play a specific supporting role.

I don’t mean, of course, that His plan won’t unfold if we don’t find and play our part — I know with confidence that He doesn’t need us in order for His will to be fulfilled. What I mean is that He’s inviting us to have a part in His incredible plan, and that at the center of His will is a role and purpose unique to each of us — as His handcrafted creation.

My theory (and I’m sure its not unique to me) is what I’ve come to call the path theory. And in it, the redeemed look a little something like this:

I’ll call this the train-truck, because I don’t know what its name actually is. The important thing about this vehicle is that it has two sets of wheels. One set is made to follow a track, the other set allow the truck to go off on its own course. I propose that we are all born with normal wheels, and that when we are saved, God gives us railroad wheels. At no time (in this life) does He remove our original free-will wheels, but He equips us with a mechanism to stay on track.

None of this is really profound or controversial, but what I’m going to say next seems to be debated a bit: I believe that no matter how many times we go off the track, when we repent and re-engage our God-wheels He restores us to the same track. Maybe our wandering costs us some progress, and definitely it seperates us from God’s best, but when we screw up, God doesn’t say “Great, now I’ve got to put you on a new track and adjust my plan!” He says, “OK, you’re forgiven, now get back to where I had you heading.”

We can, and probably will, get to the end of our life without reaching that perfect destination He had in mind for us… but how close we get to that destination is determined by how much time we spend on the track.

Here’s the really wonderful thing about our God-wheels: using them means we don’t need to worry about what comes next. When we’re wandering on our own, decisions like which direction to take, and what roads to follow, are stressful because we’re wandering randomly, hoping to find roads that go roughly in the right direction. When we’re on the track, what comes next just unfolds on its own — a train doesn’t worry about which off-ramp to take. All we need is obedience, and faith that the track will still be there on the other side of the hill, or around this difficult bend, or when we come out this dark tunnel…

I don’t know if I’m communicating this clearly enough, but what I’m suggesting is that the only thing necessary to have a successful, effective life in Christ — where we fulfill our potential, grow, help others, and impact the world according to His plan — is to focus on surrendering our wheels to His. That’s it! There are no critical decisions to make, there’s no reason to worry or fret about what comes next, there’s nothing to debate or argue, there’s nothing we need to convince ourselves or others of. All we need to do is obey.

That track will lead us to our divine appointments: to the people we’re supposed to witness to, or disciple, to the jobs we’re supposed to take or schools we’re supposed to attend, to the places or countries we’re supposed to live in. And if we’re all living surrendered, then none of us have anything to fear.

Of course sometimes there are choices — and sometimes we put more weight on them than God does. Sometimes there are three or four apparent directions on our track, and we freak out and think we’re never going to be able to choose the right one. But God knows that they all lead to the same place, and He’s simply giving us multiple good things to choose from. The only option that’s wrong is to engage our old wheels and take off in a selfish direction.

For my family, this then is our only plan for the future. To work hard at the tasks in front of us, and to surrender our wheels and rely only on His. Knowing that it is our desire to follow God’s track with complete obedience where ever it leads, we will be dilligent stewards and attentive students, so that nothing hinders us from following His perfect path.

Knights of the 500 Kingdoms of Fortune

So I’ve been traveling for business for a few months now, and its high time I record some observations…

The first is that men (and perhaps women, although I’ve had less samples to observe) traveling on business are a solitary bunch. Although they represent families, employers, teams, and sometimes even churches, while traveling we are each alone. Despite spending the day with partners, or customers, or other team mates, at the end of it, we retire to a hotel room alone.

The strategies employed to manage this loneliness are varied — almost as much as the temptations available — but everyone I’ve come across has recognized the need to employ self-discipline in order to survive. What’s just as interesting is how readily we each compare our routines with each other. One guy I frequently see on my trips is very regimented in his diet — going so far as to buy groceries upon arrival in each place he visits, so that he’s not tempted to splurge on eating out. Others have a strict morning exercise routine in the crappy little gyms that hotels usually have.

For myself, I’m frequently traveling from east coast time to west coast, which makes it very easy to wake up in the morning, and very difficult to stay up at night. This means that my mornings are purposefully full: I do my stretches, read my Bible, spend some time in prayer, and allow myself one Starbuck’s Chai Tea Latte (my only coffee for the day) on the company’s dime. If I have extra time, mornings are also a good time to call home.

Another thing people do when they travel is try to fill their evenings. Customer and sales guys, partners — even ones with some tension in the relationship — will invariably look for a business reason (excuse) for dinner, a hockey game, a scotch tasting… anything to avoid the hotel room for a little longer. This usually works fine for me, although being an introvert near the end of my day (where 9pm = 12am with the time change) sometimes leaves me exhausted. If I do end up in my hotel room, I’ve taken a page from a long time mentor and resolved not to turn the TV on. Downloaded TV shows on my laptop ensure I’m not watching anything my bride’s not also watching at home. And accountability software on my computer, that reports any risky material to a friend at home who also travels for work, ensures the loneliness doesn’t lead to temptation.

Almost everyone I’ve come across has similar rules and strategies, so although our missions are different, with this shared need for self-discipline, and a common aloneness, there’s an almost instant comradery when coming across another guy traveling on business, which is something I’ve never really experienced at any job I’ve had before. It’s like we are lone warriors of the Kingdoms of the Fortune 500, knights of the board room, ronins on a lonely path welcoming the chance for a drink and a conversation — about anything. Even about faith…

Considering Home Schooling

We have friends who have two amazingly smart, well-adjusted and entirely pleasant children, who have been home schooled their entire lives. In standardized testing, they typically score 4 grades above where they’re supposed to be in school. Their eldest, who’s only just pushing at her teen years has already taken PSATs with scores sufficient to get her into pretty much any college she wants.

Having known them since they were born, we haven’t needed much convincing on the benefits of home schooling. However, we’re aware – having known other kids who have been home schooled who aren’t as well-adjusted – that there are also risks/potential problems with home schooling. Social consideration, of course, being significant.

You’re welcome, dear reader, to chime in with thoughts on the subject, as we’re currently gathering such opinions, but its not likely you can introduce any new variables that we haven’t already been considering.

Home schooling is on the rise in the States, one of the foremost reasons given by surveyed parent’s who chose this path being that they desire a better religious education for their kids. I won’t say that’s not important – it is – but I doubt I weight that factor for the same reasons as many Christians. I do not, in fact, want my kids to grow up ultra-conservative. I’d much rather see my kids grow up with an excess of compassion than an excess of indoctrination.

That said, I understand the importance of shaping our kid’s understanding of the world according to Truth, as well as Grace, and acknowledge there are things in the public school system that we would prefer to have taught differently. What I struggle with is that I don’t want my kids to arrive at adulthood without being able to understand, and have respect for, differing points of view. If they learn only our point of view, then how are they going to react the first time they meet someone different than us? How can they be effective on a missions field, or in a workplace, if they grow up without tolerance for differing perspectives? Although we don’t want them to be of the world, we do want them to be effective in it.

On top of that, and the aforementioned (and obvious) social implications, I worry a little bit that our house might become a semi-permanent cradle. With me working at home, Nicole functioning as the in-home teacher, and our little village being a little bit isolated from the 3 neighbouring, larger cities, it would be very easy for our kids to grow up thinking that our home is the center of the universe.

All this is coming to a head because, ridiculously, we have to enroll Benjamin in school now if we want him to attend Pre-K in September. Because his birthday falls at the end of the year, our choices are to either enroll him as too young for his class, or too old. Both possibilities pose risk that, with him at a public school, we won’t be able to determine quickly enough if he’s struggling at school, and why.

I have two theories on my own education (and frustrations with it) that combined suggest to me that if we put Ben in school too late, he might end up frustrated, bored and unable or uninterested in performing according to how he’s evaluated… but that if we put him in too early and he learns differently than the teachers expect, he might get steamrolled.

If our kids learn at home, they’ll have 1 full-time teacher, and 1 part-time teacher available to them to help them learn however they need to, and at whatever pace works for them. And our field trips? They’d be world-wide…

Preserving Lightning

Few inventions have changed the world so much as the microcomputer – certainly few have evolved as quickly, or have pushed forward as rapidly. These days, despite the incredible technology contained in them, computers have become something of an appliance. Granted its an appliance that the average home user faces with more frustration than most (your microwave is unlikely to get a virus, and your fridge probably doesn’t have its viewable area limited by those 18 toolbars you unwittingly installed) but they are common-place now. Most households with teenagers in them probably have more computer screens than TV screens these days.

It’s easy, then, to think that they were always there. To forget the heady days of not 20 years ago when having a computer in your home meant you were on the cutting edge of technology. Or 30 years ago when getting computer lab time at your school meant something special. How even without Internet, those devices hooked up to a TV or crude monochrome contained within them undiscovered new worlds.

Most computer geeks of my generation can remember their first BASIC program – the first time our computer performed a novel action, at our own instruction. The first time we grasped the understanding that through this portal, our imaginations could be unleashed.

If you remember this, then you’ll understand the nostalgia that hit me in the face when I discovered that, not too far from my home, is a one-of-a-kind museum of classic computing. In a converted old opera house in Ontario hum 40 computers of yester-year. From the ubiquitous Commodore 64 and PCjr., to the rare and treasured IIgs Woz Edition and Apple LISA, from the Atari 800xl to the Amiga, and even a microcomputer without a keyboard and monitor — where input was entered on switches, and output returned on lights — these computers are all running, just like they did 15-35 years ago.

And they only represent a small fraction of the collection! Hundreds of other machines sit in storage, where they’re restored and rotated through the museum proper. A software library for each of these computers, original shipping boxes, magazines, instruction manuals, and advertising collateral have all been meticulously collected by a self-professed geek, and a team of volunteers.

The scope of this multi-decade project is more than impressive – it’s important. Few other collections like this exist in the world, and much of the history of modern computing – young though it may be – is at risk of disappearing into junk piles and garage sales until there is nothing left to mark the path we’ve followed to get here.

I read an article recently that said that NASA is having difficulty retrieving the data from the original moon missions – because the computers on which it was recorded no longer function. This isn’t recordings scratched into stone tablets centuries ago – this is information less than half-a-century old that we are loosing access to!

If you benefit from e-mail, or Skype, or a word processor or financial management software; if you’ve photoshopped a family picture, or dabbled in editing your home videos; if you’ve booked a vacation online, or surfed for recipes or home improvement tips then you owe it to the people who’s life’s work gave you these things – the inventors of the home computer, and the revolution that it brought to civilization – to check out the PC Museum, and donate a couple dollars to the preservation of the story of how we got here.

Take your kids, and let them press the keys of keyboards that sparked a generation of imagination and invention.

Ben’s First Computer

Last week I decided it was time for Ben to have his first computer. He has his first game system, and his first pair of skates, but if he’s my son, he should start learning how to use a computer. I was pleased when he took right to it.

*Geek Content Follows*
In the late sixties, a man named Douglas Engelbart dreamt up a connected computer system, navigated with a pointing device that came to be called the mouse. His original invention had an array of buttons. Its fabled that by the time the mouse became commonplace, it was an almost religious debate over how many buttons it should have. The Xerox ALTO had 3 buttons, but Steve Jobs insisted fervently that there should be only one. Even today, with Apple’s new high-tech multi-touch mouse, the default behaviour is to treat all clicks as a left click.

It’s a tribute to Dr. Engelbart that our 3-year old intuited the use of the mouse within only a couple seconds, after I put my hand over his and showed him how to point and click. It’s a tribute to Steve Jobs that Ben’s graceless button mashing only ever invokes a left-click operation – no confusing menus for him to get lost in.

See, Ben’s first computer is a Macintosh Performa 6320 – a 14 year-old Mac that I would have killed to have in my room when I was in high school.
*End Geek Content*

I picked up the computer, along with a Mac IIsi, for a grand total of $25 – thanks to a find on Kijiji. They smell horrible (having been owned by a smoker) and were filthy dirty when I brought them home. But I lovingly scrubbed one down, and cleaned up the system software and some extension conflicts, and it’s purring along (and starting to smell better) like it was a brand new computer.

It came with a package called KidWorks 2, which includes a drawing program with cute sound effects. Ben loves it and calls it his “Drawing ‘puter!” I popped in a Patch the Pirate CD (thanks Mom and Dad!) and it started playing right away, and within moments he was happily playing away with classic content on a classic computer — the perfect place for him to start learning. It even has a TV Tuner!

Asia 2010

When I was 6 years old, my family moved to Bangladesh for a year. Among other things, this left a very young version of myself with an incurable restlessness that my wife would eventually learn to understand, and even share – on occasion.

Five years ago, we responded to a growing passion for missions by booking a trip to Asia. The intent had been to bring a team of students interested in missions… and then just one… and then even that didn’t work out. I’m not sure what to chalk that up to, but it was clearly not His timing for anyone else to go. Thankfully, He allowed Nicole and I to make the trip.

We stayed with new friends in Penang, Malaysia and learned from them, and lent our skills to the daily needs at their YWAM base. We went to Thailand, and learned about the efforts there to rebuild after a tsunami had wiped out thousands of homes and lives, and lent our strength for a few days building a house. We saw both the beauty and darkness of Kuala Lumpur. And we came home changed.

Then we moved to New York. The intent had been to learn about moving to another country, while growing my career and getting involved in serving. Like our trip to Asia, we learned a lot, and found we had a lot to learn – and still do.

But we’ve grown in the past 5 years, and it seems that maybe this time, God will allow us to bring someone along while we go, again, to learn about missions in Asia. Sunday we booked our tickets. We fly to Hong Kong on June 7, for a whirlwind tour of as many countries as we can manage – and this time, its not just our hopes and dreams that we are going to explore.

We discovered, not long after we met her, that our babysitter’s older sister has had a burden on her heart for Asia since 4th grade. Even as a 9-year old, Tatum took this challenge seriously, and began studying Cantonese and saving up her babysitting money, in the hopes that some day she could get to Hong Kong. She’s a young adult now, proficient in the language, a dozen connections cultivated on the continent, and money in the bank. All she needed to get her parent’s blessing was someone willing to take her.
With us itching to get back to Asia, and my parent’s living in Malaysia and connected in Cambodia, it doesn’t make sense for us not to accompany her.

The planned itinerary includes Beijing, Hong Kong, Phnom Penh (Cambodia), Hanoi (Vietnam) and Kuala Lumpur (Malaysia). Its an ambitious trip for only 2 weeks, but we’re looking forward to it. Asia is a beautiful continent, with so much to see, and so many people who need Hope. We go for the adventure, for sure, but more than that, we go out of obedience. The Word says to go into all the world and make disciples, and as 29-year olds, we take this challenge seriously.

Our own kids will be sitting out this trip – perhaps in another 5 years they’ll be old enough to come along and get something out of it. For Asia 2010, we could use prayer that all 3 of us are able to discern and follow His direction as our trip takes shape.

Birthday Cake

As I mentioned earlier, Ben was very specific that he would not agree to being 3 years old until he got a blue McQueen chocolate cake. So, Nicole very expertly made him this…

…which we happily consumed with the help of Nic’s parent’s, the McLeods, and Ben’s little buddy Nathan. Pretty awesome, eh?

Love Like Rockets

A few days ago I tried to start putting down 2 years worth of scattered thoughts on how God seems to work in our lives — from my limited experience. And the conclusion I drew was that our planning role might not be as big (or shouldn’t be as big) as we like to think. That maybe God isn’t so much concerned with how we plan to do things, as He is with our obedience to His plan. I’ll talk more about how I think that looks, but let me tell you how I think planning on obedience works…

First, look at what’s in front of you. Do you have a job? Kids? Bills? Debt? A mortgage? Homework? A youth group?
There’s your 1 year plan right there. God wants you to be faithful with the little things – He put them in front of you for a reason. Work at those things, and do them well.

Second, and this may take some time, but it’ll be worth it: look at what God has built into you. When you’re in church, what sermon topics tug on your heart? What softens you, or makes your eyes water up a little (or a lot?) What things have you seen on TV or in the media that make you feel like you have to do something to change what you’re seeing? What are you passionate about, and what gets your blood pumping? What thing could you do all day long without ever getting tired of it?
Figure out what your passion is, and you’ve got your 10 year plan — that’s the thing you’re supposed to be doing 10+ years from now.

Between now and then, however, are going to be challenges and lessons.

Perhaps the first challenge is that you can’t find that thing or that topic or that situation that causes a righteous zeal to well up within your soul. May I suggest, then, that the author of your soul – your Creator God – cannot speak into your life, because you aren’t listening. Your first order of business, and the discipline you must develop for the rest of your life, is to draw closer to Him. The more you know His heart, the more you will hear His still, small voice whispering into your life.

Perhaps you are already drawing closer to Him every day, and you already cannot sit through a specific kind of sermon, or a certain song, or read a particular verse, without feeling a fire burning in your marrow, or tears streaming down your face. Your 5 year goal, then, is to find out what stands between you and the passion and burden God has placed on your heart, and tackle those things with all your being, knowing His strength and His provision will make a way for you to obey Him.

Maybe debt stands in your way. Maybe its education that you need to get. Maybe its a specific skill you need to develop. Maybe its nothing so tangible as any of these; and instead you are simply in need of His equipping, and His molding in your life. Whatever it is, work on it as your next step.

And the most important thing about this 1/5/10 plan? Don’t write any of it down. Because as you pursue Him, and are obedient to Him – in the every day, and in your life in general, He will transform your will, until the things you want out of life are the things He had planned for you to do since He knit you together… and those things might turn out to be very different than you had originally figured on.

But that’s OK, because it turns out that the plans made by our amazing God? Those plans are way better than anything we could have come up with on our own.