Baby vs. Cat

At 8 months of age, our son’s intelligence is roughly on par with that of our cat, Daisy. He would even, if we let him, happily eat cat food. If you think this is an unfair evaluation of a human baby, consider these other notes:

  • Poop: both baby and cat are unable to deal with their own poop, and require a periodic clean-up operation before their poop spills out onto the floor.
  • Vomit: both puke frequently and, if left unattended, will try to eat their own puke.
  • Food: when hungry, both cat and baby become irritable and noisy, sometimes even swatting at us or chewing on our fingers.
  • Sleep: both require copious amounts of sleep and get angry when their sleep is interrupted, however, neither show any concern for our sleeping habits.
  • Speaking: Benjamin is capable of grunting, squeaking and even squealing noises that express a range of emotions from disdain to sheer joy. Daisy is capable of grunting, purring and even squealing noises that express the same emotions.
  • Listening: scientists have proven that cats are capable of understanding up to 30 words. Benjamin understands no more than 30 words. Cats also have a habit of ignoring what you say to them — especially things like “no.” In the same manor, our baby will hear us say “no” and then proceed with what he was going to do anyway.
  • Locomotion: both cat and baby get around the house on all fours, frequently getting into things they aren’t supposed to. When they find something interesting, both will try to get it in their mouths.

All that said, baby Ben is a delight. He does squeal — with joy — whenever he sees one of us, and now that he’s on a bottle, he’s much more self-sufficient. He’s also growing like a weed, and this week Nicole had to upgrade his car seat to a much larger model. We are truly blessed with a healthy, happy boy.

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